I HATE her! So am I the asshole for being fed up with having to do everything for a dog he wanted and promised to take care of? I cant remember a time I havent had a pet before my last dog of 13 years passed. I just needed to vent and be honest somewhere. My wife and I have a small dog who is biting our young children. Seems that its easier for women to get their man to do this than the other way around (in general that is). worse the way he thinks or trys to lie that his behavior wasnt that bad, or shes just a dog and will get over it. And then all those hairs EVERYWHERE and a constant smell of ammonia of all the pee in the house. Its their HUMANS that I blame! This 50-something woman who until recently had her cat living in her house for fourteen long years insisted on being the caretaker it was her idea to help us with that, not ours. They arent really bad and we dont allow them in the bedroom at night when we sleep. Not if you would have been watching him, the amount of money it has cost us because of his lack of training involvment has made me physically ill. HOW do I communicate to someone who LOVES their pet so much that they litterally and honestly feel the pets do no wrong???? Oh? No. Am I crazy? I would like to contribute with my personal story about mistakes that we make when we enter a relationship being a pet lover, but also give a word of compassion to those who find themselves in the same situation that I do. You should come up with a new idea every day because this learning process never ends, and you will see great success as time goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I absolutely 100% do not like his dog. But at the end of the day they are JUST animals!!! Maybe your husband or children have allergies to dogs. Why not question yourself, why not realise that if it were to ever get to that point in your relationship, that you are effectively saying that my dogs are more important than youll ever be. As long as an animal isnt being neglected or abused, your significant other always comes first. I had to pull him off and fix the gate back stronger. Whatever you feel now, multiply times ten thousand, and that is how much you will hard the shedding when you live with him. He sees Mesa as his child, I see Mesa as an animal. I also have a cat because I know that I personally do not have the time to take care of and properly train a dog. I should have seen the signs of this before moving in with him :-(. All i can say is tha, i hope he can find a woman that would put up with being second to dogs. Nothing major maybe a couple pieces of clothing in a laundry basket, then an unplugged phone cord and finally she went after the couch :\ my husband was not happy at all. I am not affiliated with them, but its where I went for classes, and I they were so invaluable because they teach about the animals psychology as well as break down the training in small, easy steps. I did agree to having the dog with us because I dont like to see any animal suffer as I am too a dog lover. If you are confident you can please do ahead and try but if he carries on,please believe me,you are better off without your partner full stop. It upsets me greatly, we also have a 4 yr old son which the dog has bit on a couple occasions simply because the dog does not like him. Do dogs stick to mating with one partner, and one partner only till death do them part? Also, on the rare occasion he stays at my place, he has to leave really early in the morning to go home and take the dog out (i live in SF and we both have apartments with no yard). Weve been married almost four years and the dog died from old age after the first three years of my marriage to her owner. I have had my dog since he was 4 months old. Spray some in the dogs mouth so she knows what it tastes like, then spray it on whatever you dont want her to chew. Like I said it would be one thing if they would get up off their rears and help, but they dont. I disagree. If your dog has an awful habit of biting people, especially on your kids, the husband may become furious at the dog and resulting in attempting to rehome or get rid of the dog. I am not going to say I dont know what to do, because I do, we both need to sit down and resolve this, the outcome is never easy, and that is why it takes us so long to do something about it. And promises has been broken as far as who comes first, husband or dog. Shes hard working, handles the house, the kids, the works. It wasnt a matter of loving an animal, it was that he made me feel he was in love with the dog and it broke my heart over and over again. Let me remind you, he does not pee in the house and he does not go out any more than normal. There were even ants on the floor from all the dog food that lays on the floor when they eat. He has had training and about every option there is for this issue and he just cant stop. They have a gate separating the sides of the house but tonight the dog broke through it. Hire a dog trainer: Sometimes, the issue is nothing to do with socialization. Sadly I assume another dog.. Hes had all that time to tell me about his dislike of dogs the first time he met my parents I asked him before we went in if he was okay with dogs and he said yes! I hope he decides to respect you and comprise. Something else I will be happy to discuss but dog H*** NO. My boyfriend hates my dog and wont let him at his apartment, but insists I stay there. Shed bark, hed jump while at the same time hed say snide things to me, would compete with me about things, or one up me. It sounds as though you see relationships as being a tit-for-tat type of deal, and if thats all youve experienced in your life then I am sorry for you. Seriously, dogs do give me anxiety. About 3yrs ago he bought a house & installed wood floors and (as you all know) cats run around from time to time. They were part of my family. See I never knew I wouldnt enjoy living with dogs before I did and I find it so unprofessional of people to say things like divorce them, or they are control freaks in response to a spouse who cannot stand a dog. You already have another and dont need that sloppy thing. Beau never has accidents and is probably the most problem free dog I have ever owned. Now despite my efforts, the dog is destroying my garden, ripping out my roses especially. Then you can adjust the procedure that needs to follow based on the requirements stated by the dog behaviorist. I have to tell him again and again because he just circles around. But as I sit here and read all the comments and the same scenarios I have been through, one thing does come to mind.communication. He far as takes her to the bathroom with him. 1. IMO, dogs are meant to live with families and do better in environments where they are allowed some independence and interaction with more than just one person. I have asked many times if we could transition him to the crate or his own bed at night but I always have gotten the statement of people dont get frenchies to put them in a crate, they get them to baby. Even babies need some boundaries and rules! Is he a narcissist since he has isolated you from friends and now your furry friends? All I know is that its really frustrating. Now with my partner its so different. I did a huge mistake by overlooking a huge red flag, but I dont regret adopting the cat. Hes taking his threats a bit rough, like taking the whole fingers in the mouth but I think hes gonna learn to take it gentle with some training. We tried for one night to keep Fido out of the bedroom, but he whined all night and damaged the door frame by clawing at it. He thinks it is his kid, and even takes it to daycare everyday. My kids and I have had our pet for 5 years his dog is about 8 months old and cat about 7 months and he expects me to put my dog out side!! I would never ask him to get rid of his animals because that suggestion is beyond cruel. Since then we have communicated about what it is that makes him upset1. She sadly ended up passing and left behind a small dog. I im not sure if its an indoor or outdoor dog. Perhaps its time to move on in your life. I told myself if the marriage ended, I would Watch for signs of this in another man. Ultimately, it is extremely unfair to make a partner get rid of his/her pet. Her ten year old is just the older Yorkie that is sick. Hes my husband, I want him to be happy, right? When that happens, they encourage and foster an unhealthy bond/obsession with their dogs, which has psychological repercussions for both the animal and the human. Would you be better to give him your ultimate sacrifice and find him a happy home to live the rest of his life? I dont want to come home to a house that has pee and poop all over the place, hairs all over, dogs that are misbehaving. There is no compromise. Ive built them a damn good warn dog house and theyve adapted to the change. is at least considering moving on. My husband was a traveler and barely home so he insisted I get a cat(I am a cat lover, he is a dog lover). Ya, a poor greedy baby that could not stay out of cat food. Family too but the dog will stay. Everytime he cries now if hes not in the bed which drives me nuts, I love dogs. Wink. If you want to treat an animal like a human, then maybe you should move to Utah and marry them. He might seem annoying to her but I love him just like I love her dog.. Hes trying to hump her dog sometimes, I think thats normal in his age. It is unfair to make demands like this of someone else. If I get up from the couch she will jump in my place and not move and the GF just smiles it off. Absolutely the worst decision I have ever made to try to share my home with this thing that has absolutely NO RULES whatsoever for how it behaves. We love each other very much but this situation is putting a strain on our relationship, he says he doesnt understand as I used to like her at first, I genuinely did but when I realised what it was like to live with her things changed. Fml. Its self humiliation and you ARE worth more than that! Hed have his arm around her. Compromise. His mouth was literally on my sons face. Unfortunately, the hair is still an issue. time (because of her separation anxiety)and snores and pants constantly (due to the pushed up face). I will take her out to walk for 30 minutes, come inside and she uses the bathroom all over the house. I dont know if anyone still uses this site. I could never get used to those gross drooly dogs but tried a relationship with a dog but it just doesnt work. She tried to intervene but it wouldnt stop, biting me a few times. They both are very jealous and possessive dogs! Glad shes old as sad as that is to say because he loves her. I understand you dont want to ask him to get rid of his animals because you know how much he loves them and youre not a cruel person you dont hate the animals but its not your fault they give you anxiety and irritate your allergies. Heavy training: You have to spend so much time with several bucks. The guy I am with hates dogs with a bloody passion and I have THREE. So, my girlfriend and I have been together for four years. Charlie, the next morning she said she was sorry and that evening we talked it out (lovingly and with a gentle heart) and she fully understands how i truly feel and how i received what she did that night. Before reading this blog, I thought I was going crazy thinking the way I did or maybe that is the way my partner treats me. When I am at his house the dog cant let us cuddle in front of TV before interacting with aggressiveness act , he is either wants to sit in the same sofa and not a separate sofa. A retired couple who offered everything I did, with the bonus of not having my husband for a daddy. Grooming sessions: Never skip grooming sessions. I am to the end of my rope and sanity with the dog. He scratches people, pisses on the floor to get peoples attention. Our relationship is wonderful, all except for disagreements on things I love. This whole allergy thing started out when his parents looked after our cat during a month-long overseas trip we took when a friend of mine could no longer live up to her commitment in the last minute. It is protecting a member of its pack. but I do it mostly and have asked him to just not take him out, that I can handle it, heck I have all these years. It is a Weimeraner, and I hate the breed, its characteristics, its mannerisms and love all other dogs. We both want a life together as a family. She just knows my girlfriend will spaz on her too if she admits it. Maybe an older dog that has less energy. Now the puppy is 100% potty trained and I feel like we were on the right track but my husband said he wants both of them gone yesterday (that will never happen). He sometimes travels for work and I dont want to deal with it, I cant even sleep at night because of those barking and noisy dogs and he doesnt care. If he is not an animal person, you have to accept that is who he is. It is all something he is obligated to do, it doesnt come from the heart or a place of concern because if it did we wouldnt be having these arguments and if he just did what he is supposed to do in terms of training, we definitely wouldnt have these arguments. He eats what he tears up and throws it up so we have that mess to clean up too. Create an allergy-free area in your home. A poorly trained dog or aggressive cat is frustrating to everyone, but the person who brought the pet into the relationship is sometimes more sympathetic toand defensive aboutthe pet. ive been forced to sleep in the spare room a lot of nights because she moves about constantly and snores and keeps me up the whole night. If sleep deprivation was the worst of it, I could live with that but as many people have mentioned in their cases, there is always drool around the house and hair everywhere and I mean at the end of the week you could fill a small garbage bag. Bathe the dog on a regular basis. My partner has never really been a fan of dogs (animals in general) but agreed to getting one to make me and the kids happy. My sister has five dogs same thing. For the first 6 months my partner did not mind her sharing the bed. We get to the room where we meet the dog. They wanted the cat back that I wound up having to give to my would be mother in law BC it was just dandy we couldnt have a cat but god forbid we found a place that wouldnt let him keep his dog. You are right in that you need two fairly like-minded people and this is one case in which we view things very differently. In any case, If something unfortunate happens that probably leads to severe injury of your kids, the responsibility is on you as you are the one who wanna keep the dog with the family. He then comes back into the room I am in, starts cussing and ranting about how he is so sick of seeing dog piss in the floor and that I can either get rid of the dog or he will do something about it, incinuating he will either get rid of it or kill it. That is a different matter. Any advice at this point is much appreciated. I like dogs but I cant deal with this anymore. All of that goes because we dont want to live with a shit factory? There isnt. I was utterly devastated. After the last two pass we needed to be dog free. For some reason it finally got through to him and said he was sorry for everything that has happened and told me that at the end of the day I am more important than a dog and that he never wanted me to feel alone. He knows I cant stand and absolutely I wish you all the luck and hope your situation improves. im sorry youre going thru this.my situation is different..but i can totally relate to trying to train and work with a dog and having no one back you up or virtually undo anything you try to do with the dog to make progress..in your case it seems as if your ex is jealous of the bond you have with the puppy.the puppy is young it needs to have training i think yours doing a good thing for him and his dog. Its not that I dont like animals, but I have no desire of them to be in my house and definitely not in my bed. Everyone has to put up with your dog but godforbid they talk out against it. I visit friends with cats, but its not the same. Yes, she bit me. In my opinion you only making it worse and making him think he is the alpha male as he gets his way. Drool xs 2! My leather sofa was covered with a twin comforter. He doesnt want to kennel a dog outside and I have to agree it is not ideal to do that. Im so stressed out in my own home its not fair. Really his anger and frustration did not match the act. Because shes a dog. It was not her fault but made me mad nonetheless. I grew up with them. If I went next door and saw another woman and she gave me a good meal, I wouldnt suddenly be in love with her and tell my girlfriend its over. Here are common reasons why do dogs become destructive. Anyone who knows labs knows that they have two coats and shed INCESSANTLY. A cute basset hound mut with penty of issues, now requiring attention, food and time that I never signed up for or agreed to. He says I should be happy with the one dog I have now, and where i appreciate him allowing the dog to live with us, I cannot shake the feeling of being incomplete. Try daycare. Even in other peoples houses dog owners want to let their mutts do what they want. And I dont know what to do. I like dogs, or liked them. My husband is constantly annoyed with our pets. They must be let outside, fed, played with and walked. Sometimes there is poop everywhere! I cant help that, he was like that when he came to me from his last family. I work too long to have to deal with anymore issues or responsibilities. I call her the furry wife and thats exactly what she has been. He was even having me pay $1000 month to pay for my health insurance through his employer group coverage his was free. It was in kitchen cabinets, on shelves, in every nook and cranny. It barks constantly and urinates all over if not crated when no one is home and chews up my Gfs socks and underwear if given the chance. I said I would not get married if she slept in the bed. My boyfriend, let's call him Steve, is a dog lover. She sounds like my husband as far as not really caring about your feelings. Its good to see that Im not the only one in this position at least. Most importantly, you need to control yourself while talking without starting a quarrel. i would say NAH. He pays more attention to the dog than our baby. How many points will I take away? i cannot stand this animal. I havent been able to talk to my bf much about it as Im scared it will lead into a huge fight and hell breakup with me over it. lol. And ruin the home. but the human seemed to thrive on her thug style behavior. During that time I was cheated on. So anyways, we go to the shelter, just TO LOOK. I fell in love with her puppy and wanted his brother which we did get. Husband has been violent 2x in the 13 years and now again recently. I hadnt heard from him in 2 days which is not normal. It has been very sad at times when I miss my gf. He says he cant get rid of the dog bc it will upset his 22 year old adult son (who doesnt love with us & wont take care of the dog either)! When it does do something, its to look for f***ing food on the ground, that it will ingest and restarting the cycle of diarrhoea again. Do things to help yourself, keep the dog clean so that he doesnt have too much dander (take him to a groomer regularly-and your girlfriend will appreciate your efforts). It is downright disgusting. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We dont live together so the few hours we spend together shouldnt be such a hassle for him, after a few minutes my dog either goes to sleep or chews on something and doesnt bother him anymore. For he first three, my husband behaved as though he was married to his dog and I was made to feel second in value. I need advice please!!! .. A PET IS DEFINITELY LIKE A CHILD! Chihuahuas love warm! Even when I came home from grocery shopping, he would already try to steal items out of my grocer bags!! It literally drives me to resentment. Ridiculous!!! At first, I loved her. I agree accidents can happen. 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